10 Relationship Commandments…

Sherile Turner-Myles
6 min readJan 24, 2022
Photo By Timo Müller

Commandments are guiding principles that we all should live by, should be the key word here. They are what we should aspire to achieve and constantly work for but we should also give ourselves some grace…. Relationships are hard work and they go through cycles. Sometimes the waters are smooth and then sometimes they are choppy. Some seasons are for growing and other seasons are just for resting and appreciating what you have built. No relationship is perfect and all relationships have ups and downs. I like to tell my clients, “that beautiful young couple with the big beautiful house in the posh neighbourhood with the fabulous careers,, yea they fight over the dishes in the sink too!” That is just life, we are all flawed and have quirks that drive our partners mad… People fight and disagree and life is not always exciting, your relationship won’t always be either.

Most people do not like to air their dirty laundry for the world to critique and see. Social media also allows us to filter pretty much everything and to put our best face forward, and that is just not authentic or anything close to real life relationship realities. Sometimes what we see on Instagram or in the movies can really cloud our ideals and image of what a happy and healthy relationship is. And then comes the next questions… “How do I make my relationship work?” “How can I get through those rough patches?” “How can I be happy and stay in love?”

Here are some relationship commandments to follow if you want to be healthy and happy in love:

  1. Thou shall be honest and respectful… do not lie… ever… not even about little things. Find a tactful way to be honest to avoid hurting your partner’s feelings but do not lie. You need to be your most authentic self with your partner…. that is fair to you and to them.
  2. Thou shall be patient….if you are around anyone for long enough they will irritate you, try to reframe your thoughts when you are feeling frustrated or leave the situation. You want someone to be patient with you, don’t you?
  3. Thou shall be grateful for thy partner’s strengths… we all have deficits and the brain is trained to focus on the negative, try to recognize and compliment your partner for their strengths. Remind yourself of how your partner makes you better. Their strengths should not cause your…
Sherile Turner-Myles

I write about Covert Narcissism and other Personality Disorders, and how they impact relationships.

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