Four Punishments Covert Narcissists Use and The Highly Effective Ways You Should Respond To Protect Yourself.

Sherile Turner-Myles
13 min readMay 28

Covert narcissists possess a deep-seated need for control, validation, and admiration. They employ subtle and insidious manipulative tactics as punishments in an effort to exert control over their partners. Below are four of the most common punishments and effective responses you can employ to protect yourself from your covert narcissistic partner.

Photo by Elisa Ventur on Unsplash

One reason covert narcissists may punish their partners is their fear of being exposed or losing their power and control. They may perceive any threat to their self-image or the image they project to others as a direct attack on their inflated sense of self. To safeguard their fragile ego, they engage in behaviours designed to punish and exert dominance over their partners, ultimately maintaining their perceived superiority.

Another motive behind the punishment of partners by covert narcissists is the need to maintain their manipulative tactics and keep their victims under their control. By inflicting emotional pain, guilt, or shame, they create a toxic dynamic where the partner becomes trapped in a cycle of confusion, self-doubt, and dependency. This dynamic allows the narcissist to retain power and dominance over their partner, ensuring their continued compliance and submission.

Covert narcissists may also employ punishment to assert superiority and maintain their inflated self-image. They often view themselves as inherently superior to others and expect constant admiration and compliance. When their partners fail to meet their unrealistic expectations or challenge their authority, covert narcissists may resort to punishment to reassert their perceived dominance and superiority.

Furthermore, punishment can be a tool for covert narcissists to undermine their partner's self-esteem and sense of worth. Devaluing and demeaning their partners keeps them in a constant state of insecurity and dependence. This erosion of self-esteem makes it easier for narcissists to manipulate and control their partner, ensuring they remain in a position of power.

It's important to note that every individual and relationship is unique, and not all covert narcissists may exhibit the same behaviours or motivations…

Sherile Turner-Myles

I write about Covert Narcissism and other Personality Disorders, and how they impact relationships.