The Best Form of Revenge: How to Triumph Over Covert Narcissistic Discard.

Sherile Turner-Myles
7 min readJun 12

While seeking revenge is generally not considered healthy or constructive, it is understandable that you may have a desire to find a sense of justice or regain a sense of power and control after being discarded by a Covert narcissist.

Photo by Alexandru Zdrobău on Unsplash

Unlike their more overt counterparts, covert narcissists are akin to emotional chameleons. They adeptly shift their colours, maintaining a façade of kindness, humility, and empathy. Their gentle and seemingly compassionate exterior can be highly convincing, and for those in a relationship with them, this act can form the basis of a powerful bond that feels unique, special, and highly intimate.

However, behind this carefully curated image lies a self-absorbed individual whose primary concern is their own emotional needs and wants, often at the expense of their partner’s wellbeing. They have mastered the art of subtle manipulation, ensuring their needs are met while leaving their partner feeling confused, invalidated, and ultimately emotionally depleted.

The modus operandi of the covert narcissist can make the inevitable moment of being discarded by them profoundly disconcerting.

“Discarding” is a term used in psychology to describe a phase at the end of a relationship with a narcissist. This phase is characterized by the narcissist suddenly and without warning ending the relationship, often leaving their partner feeling used, disregarded, and emotionally devastated.

They can walk away with seemingly little regard for the emotional havoc left in their wake, leaving their partners questioning their self-worth and the authenticity of the shared connection.

The end of a relationship with a covert or fragile narcissist often mirrors the confusion and emotional turmoil that characterises the relationship itself. Recognizing the signs can be challenging due to their nuanced and manipulative behaviours. However, there are some common patterns to look for.

Ways a Covert Narcissist Might End a Relationship and how you should respond:

Understanding the subtle manoeuvres of a covert narcissist can empower you to respond in a manner that preserves your well-being. Here’s a detailed exploration of how they…

Sherile Turner-Myles

I write about Covert Narcissism and other Personality Disorders, and how they impact relationships.