The Narcissist: Born Bad or Made Menace?????

Photo By Sara Kurfeß

We seem to be very interested in the root of the narcissism problem and what is at the core of the monster, right? Is the narcissist born bad or did something happen to them that made them a menace? That seems to be the million-dollar question this decade…..Well narcissism is a personality trait and part of personality is genetic. We are born with a temperament and disposition and then our environment shapes who we are. So… I guess the answer is nature and nurture play factors. Many researchers believe that narcissism is related to attachment problems, abuse and neglect, or being put on too high of a pedestal during developmental years. It seems like the extremes of over and under indulging in childhood by caretakers is linked with high levels of narcissism. There is also a family connection, which could be genetic but also could be environmental; narcissistic parents often produce narcissistic children.

Many clients ask me if they should have more compassion for the narcissist…. Many narcissists do have horrific stories of trauma and abuse in their past….. “Isn’t the narcissist just a wounded soul like me?” “Isn’t the narcissist’s bad behaviour just their defence mechanisms to cope with their unhealed trauma?” “If they weren’t responsible for their abuse, can I really hold them accountable for their scars?” “Can they really help the way they are?” “Aren’t I a…