Do’s & Don’t When Speaking With A Survivor Pt 1

Photo by Sydney Sims

Survivors of narcissistic abuse experience a whole host of emotions during the recovery process, and recovery is a process…. Everyone goes through this in a different way and there is no timetable for getting over a narcissist. You may even be triggered years later after you have left the relationship and need to deal with anger, stress, or sadness. The roller coaster ride that the narcissist takes you on during the relationship makes you trauma bonded to your abuser. This causes cognitive dissonance, confusion, emotional dysregulation, and for the survivor to struggle to make decisions. A lot of this has to do with your central nervous system being dysregulated and the overflow of stress hormones that your body is producing too. Friends and family will probably see survivors struggling and have very good intentions and want to help them to recover and heal. If you are the friend or family member of someone leaving a toxic relationship, here are some tips on how you can show you care without putting your foot in your mouth. Below are some of the statements that I found to be helpful and hurtful on my road to recovery and others are statements that clients have shared with me:

DON’T SAY….. “Why did you go back so many times or stay? There must be something about how he/she treats you that you like.