Reasons I Fell For A Narcissist Twice?

Photo by Nong Vang

It is important to recognise that anyone, no matter what university degree or job that they hold, can get involved in a dysfunctional and abusive relationship with a narcissist. I was educated, financially stable, had a great career, a nice place to live, tons of friends and I still was sucked into long-term painful relationships with two narcissists. So why do I think I made these poor relationship choices? A lot had to do with my anxious attachment style and early childhood experiences that set the stage for me being a people pleaser and willing to tolerate abuse.

My parents love me very much and had good intentions when they were raising me but some of their parenting styles did not mesh well with my personality. My parents have very traditional parenting philosophies including strongly believing that fear equaled respect and that children were not allowed to become angry or express emotions. My parents definitely believed that children should be seen and not heard and that screaming was always the best way to get my attention or make me compliant. My parents also had very high expectations for my behaviour and academic performance and were overall pretty strict.

Until I was in therapy after my narcissistic relationships ended, I didn’t connect the dots between my childhood and my dysfunctional relationships. Making this connection was a game…